Fandom's disorganized attachment problem
Expanding on the concept of being emotional hostage? With a 1D case study, for demonstrative purposes.
In my original post about my stan experience I described feeling “emotionally hostage” even though I had been ejected I felt an attachment to the community itself and was deeply invested in good outcomes. It was the uncertainty of these good outcomes that caused ongoing tension. There was always a chance something would happen, a ball of nerves ready to transform into excitement or terror depending on what is around the ever-approaching hairpin turn.
The disorganized attachment style from attachment theory is another prism to look at it from. It’s a push-pull with varying returns. Sometimes these are highs that “are worth the pain” as one therapist wrote for the New York Times. I disagree with such a sweeping generalization and offer up my own experience.
This was about the actual happening of things: life, the universe, the unkind turns fate can take, if you believe in that sort of thing. Often encountered in the middle of the night, during an impulsive socials check. That’s when the bad news comes.
Just yesterday, Louis Tomlinson fandom experienced one such hurdle; he was supposed to perform at the iconic Red Rocks Amphitheatre yesterday; a bucket list item for many performers, including his, and was highly anticipated, LTHQ even released a special merch collection to commemorate the show.1
It didn't go off I gathered, scrolling back in time to figure out what the panic was about, a sudden storm had descended on the amphitheatre, and hail big enough that multiple injuries were documented.
This setback is a disappointment, but there is no emotional weight to it for me, which is big progress, believe it or not. The middle-of-the-night scenario held true for this time, and it wasn’t like the old days. I didn’t miss the old days, either.
But the shape of the emotions remain, and I know this is exactly the type of thing to set off waves of general despair in the community. At least, this time, it was a clear-cut case of force majeure; there is no guilty party.
With no one to blame, this works as an illustration of what sets off the stress cycle as such—the stomach drop of things going wrong, things out of your control going wrong…..
The thing is, lows or setbacks, hurdles can spur action, can galvanize and unite groups of people. That’s why there are often feuds or challenges built into the fabric of PR campaigns.2 Then there are those that simply lower the communal spirit, something you’ve got to expect. It’s hard to picture those times and those conflicting drives while things are good, though.
Tomlinson’s fandom experienced multiple of these—one of the most fundamental ones was the sudden death announcement of his mother, who had been secretly battling cancer. This was an unimaginable loss at the young ages of her children.
Johannah Deakin was an unofficial fandom contact, much like Taylor Swift’s mom seems to be to the Swifties. Which is to say this wasn't someone fandom at large was unfamiliar with. The entire selling point of 1D was about the emotional bond, familial, romantic, platonic; each stoked different ways to maximize profit. When real life comes to the table, all bets are off.
The widespread fandom demographics meant there were always going to be inappropriate and overstepping responses. There have been cases of funeral stalking, an approach so ghoulish I don't even like referencing it. Then there's the billboard condolences suggestion; publicizing this type of grief should surely be on the family's terms, not hauled into the public eye as a surprise.
The next anticipatory buildup to be crushed was for an album campaign, first up was the lead single, a song dedicated to his mother. Whatever had been planned was derailed by another unexpected family death.
In one way, it was good to know he was allowed to press pause to regroup. There have been horror stories of artists pushed on stage after such tragic events. Halsey disclosed she was pushed into performing while having a miscarriage. Her team didn't want them to miss out on the impressions, the hotly anticipated numbers. And then the Avicii situation, which is a whole different kettle of fish.
Next up, the pandemic, which of course stalled all touring creatives immediately. There are the two broken arms—as in, two separate breaks one after another—Asian tour leg cancellation, and now this communal letdown.
There have been a lot of downs and few highs in my experience. But most of it is entirely out of our hands. It’s a condition of life in general, with fandom, not the panacea some people are selling. The ups and downs of life will follow, and we can’t emotionally invest without also coping with troubled waters.
I’m not letting LTHQ or the man himself off the hook entirely, though. There have been a few occasions when Tomlinson has declared his appreciation for the fan support by saying they are in a codependent state. Not the clinical definition, I’m sure, but surely such claims place a lot of responsibility on an amorphous community with no way to actually deliver.
A collection that now appears to be offline.
One of the more notable cases is that of Lou Pearlman who created both Backstreet Boys and N’Sync, this way the inevitable competition would benefit him either way. The two bands also at different times shared management and labels.