Romance & Rivalry By Proxy

When vicarious experiences deliver the dollars.

As the Swiftie war on Joe Alwyn rages on, I’ve been thinking about this attachment that many fans (stans) have to the relationships of their fan objects, and how it’s being covered and used for profit.

Most often, you hear about romantic relationships being worshipped—it’s one of the reasons why PR stunts revolving around romantic relationships is such a tried and true approach to publicity—but platonic and familial relations can also be beloved.¹

This sticks out particularly in relation to the claim that we are witnessing “main character syndrome” en masse. It’s a flawed concept when looking at the bigger picture, because while many online participants seem entirely focused on their own feelings, they are often a willing and proud part of an audience rather than protagonists.

Katherine Dee

said it best in her 2023 recap,

The self-centeredness is secondary to wanting the comfort of a narrative. And besides, it should be evident by now that not everyone wants to be the main character. It’s only necessary that there’s a main character at all—a politician, a random person on social media, occasionally ourselves.

This desire for a narrative and a character outside oneself is most visible in audiences to public stories, whether it be structured in the form of a scripted series, game, wrestling match or through press releases and social media ‘hints’.

I’m old enough to remember when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s break-up shattered many hearts, and a co-worker told me that her “true love” celebrity couple was Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas — a few weeks later, their divorce was announced.

An article from 2012 that explores “the vicarious heartache of the teen star breakups” points out that “a portion of Taylor Swift’s appeal stems from her seeming permanent state of limerence.”

Limerence doesn’t last, though, which is why there is a revolving door of romantic prospects turned into villains beyond compare, usually with the aid of hodge-podge lyrics that are deciphered according to any given fandom segment’s preferred lore.

What made Calvin Harris such a spectacular partner at the time? He was framed as such. None of this positive attachment outlasts the relationship.

There is never truly a unified perception of what actually happened. There is a lot of coverage of the antagonism that Alwyn is currently facing (and that John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Matty Healy and others have faced in the past) which frames it as if the entirety of Swift’s fan base is united against him. This isn’t true, though.

Those who are waging that war are ruthless and righteous enough that they stick out and are immensely memorable.

The response to the debunking of an AI edited video of Alwyn insulting Swift.

If we turn back the clock a year, we can see the coverage of the break-up was focused on the vicarious devastation of her fans. NY Magazine’s Vulture was kind enough to republish their piece from April 10, 2023, which may be an attempt at click-farming, but also serves as a great reminder of how the tides can change.

At the time, distraught fans were gathering at Cornelia Street which served as a temporary residence for Swift, seven years ago. (Yes, you read that right.)

What stands out to me isn’t so much the preformative rituals of grief that were being presented, (one of the people dropping off flowers is quoted as saying she’s going to pretend to cry for the camera) but just how big of a spectacle it was beyond fans.

Even Duolingo got involved, for some reason.

The involvement of brands is always an indication to me that someone sees profit in catering to, joining in, and amplifying fans’ emotional journeys and parasocial attachments.

I always feel the need to emphasize that none of this is unique to fans of Swift: she’s just so hot right now. (And believe me, I’m aware that I’m adding to the glut.)

I’ve mentioned in my One Direction essay that fans would frequently congregate around the men’s families and partners in a fannish way. It might make sense that an attentive fan would become somewhat attached to a long term partner or a parent that revels in the spotlight as much as their child, but this goes beyond that, to sub-fandoms centred around ex-girlfriends, siblings (some underage) and offspring.

One of the instances I witnessed live was the rise and immediate downfall of “Neline.” It was July 2016, and Niall Horan attended British Summertime Festival and was photographed with an unknown woman. She was identified by The Daily Mail and The Sun, who conveniently had all her details available and framed the outing as him, “going public with stunning new girlfriend, Belgian student Celine.”

As soon as the photos were public, an update account was created to “support” the newly announced couple. Unfortunately for these enterprising fans excited for “boyfriend Niall” content, Horan and Celine were never publicly seen together again.

This romance lasted less than a week. At least it didn’t result in a massive backlash?

This audience investment is not something that can be pinned entirely on social media as public feuds and romances predate the internet, though it’s undeniably an exacerbating factor, and an excellent way to stoke the flames.

A non-romantic example of how fans will amplify feuds and how they can be milked for profit is that between emo bands Taking Back Sunday and Brand New.

The trigger in this case was a shattered “best friendship” that was dragged across the musical scales, resulting in some spectacularly brutal diss tracks that remained in their set lists for decades.

Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve

Taking Back Sunday, There's No "I" In Team

Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there’s ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seat belt
And again when your head goes through the windshield

Brand New, Seventy Times 7

The feuding parties have reconciled for the most part, and I’ve seen fans blamed for amplifying the feud, but the reality is the bands themselves took initiative and sold merch to indicate which “side” you might be on.

Shirts sold by Brand New and Taking Back Sunday respectively, referencing TBS’s Adam Lazzara’s habit of enthusiastically swinging his mic on stage.

When profit is a motive, reality is malleable. That’s where I land on almost everything we’re pushed, and why I’m so skeptical of much of the reporting around celebrities’ personal, emotional lives. That applies as much to Taking Back Sunday as the slew of Swift editorials identifying which song is about which ex. At a certain point, isn’t it all just theatrics?

1. Frequently noted in boyband fandoms who declare that the members of their favourite group are basically brothers, while all other boybands are made up of reluctant co-workers.