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Mary Jane Eyre's avatar

Great post! As a gay man, I find for-woman-by-woman "gay" romances such as Heartstopper and Red, White and Royal Blue rather alienating (although I have to admit that there are plenty of gay men who lap up these fantasies). Perhaps gay men should feel flattered that women find our relative ease with sexual and gender fluidity so aspirational? It also seems to me that the audience for drag is skewing more and more female.

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Matt Demers's avatar

"A theory I find interesting is that of, “eroticizing equality,” the concept that versatile gay men represent an equal relationship with no inherent expectations."

Hadn't considered this before; the idea of not necessarily looking at the gay male relationship as erotic, but being envious of or living vicariously through people who have the fearlessness, authenticity, etc, that they want.

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